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Wed, Aug. 9th, 2017, 07:06 am

It's Wednesday, and here I am at work yet again. The A/C just kicked on, and it's loud now for some reason. Another hot day in the PNW! It has been incredibly smoky here this past week, "the summer 2017 smoke event" due to massive fires in British Columbia. I have not ever seen smoke like this here, it's eerie the sunsets remind me of my youth on Tatooine.
Because it was going to be in the 100's last weekend we changed our camping plans from the mountains to Anacortes. It was such a good idea too because when we showed up in downtown A, there was the all weekend art festival just starting up! we found a parking spot right at the edge of town at the shipyard (basically parked the bus under a huge tugboat in dry dock getting new propellers, on a closed street) and near a line of portos too, so perfect.
Lily hadn't really been to A yet, so it was a treat showing her around this quaint little town. I love it. She fell in love with it too and now also wants to live there. We had so much fun, just cruising the art and looking for places to smoke out. Getting lattes from the Gypsy coffee cart 3x was alright too. We spent all the money we would have spent on camping fees on new dresses and bags. So Much Fun. And perfect weather despite the smoke.
The bus is working perfectly now, with the new solar panels we were able to listen to the stereo 24 hours a day and I brought a ton of DJ sets this time. We really like the Mira new years eve 4hour set the most. I need to find a way to organize them so that the info displays on the stereo properly and I don't have to rely on my brain and ear to remember which is which with so many damn sets now on that stick.
It was funny being parked there... people would walk up to the bus but not look at it, they would only be interested in the huge tug boat. It was like we were invisible and different then everywhere else we have been where the hippie bus is such an attraction.
It's been a good week. Lily and I have been seeing each other for 3 months now, no signs of stopping anytime soon. Waking up next to her each day has been the best thing ever. We are living together and sometimes I have to pinch myself 'Is this real'? and I know it is. After all that I have been through, finally knowing I have found my person is such a weight off my soul.

Tue, Aug. 1st, 2017, 09:29 am
as I sit here at work with my salted caramel yogurt

I dream about yesterday, and the juxtaposition it created in my life. After work, I high-tailed it to my new home, and then Lily, ma'am and I piled into the bus to go to Richmond beach. Once there, we met up with Sarah, Heidi, Haileigh and Ada who had been out in the sun for hours. It was weird to have Sarah and Lily in the same space, but as you know Lily is so gracious and kind, was warm loving and welcoming to everyone. It just amazes me, how far I have come since the days of Juli and even Kris, how I was willing to settle with someone who clearly wasn't good for me and the times of upheaval, the times of feeling hopeless and alone compared to now; being with someone who is obviously my most perfect partner and best friend. I always believed that she existed, I just didn't think I'd ever find her. We are both extremely lucky in this world. I don't like leaving her in the morning when i go to work and I count the hours until i can see her again.
So this weekend we are going camping to leavenworth, and it will be fun we get to try out some new lights and speakers and we are going to attempt to DJ a set on the bus somehow. I think we will just bring the entire traktor set up. Our goal is to be able to do that by Aug 18th for chillout campout up in the mountains with her DJ crew, 'Covert Ops' which I am really looking forward to because I get to see and meet more of her amazing friends - which is just what I need in my life.

Fri, Jul. 28th, 2017, 08:48 am
I had chinese food twice this week and Im in love

So glad that it is Friday! This weekend will be mellow. We are working on the solar panels for the bus tonight; tomorrow we'll go to ambient sounds at gas works park after a relaxing day of washing the cars and sleeping in :) also Sizzle Pie late Saturday since we haven't been to the one in Seattle yet and I love their pizza. SO GOOD.
What else happened this week? We went to see Valerian, and it was spectacular albeit a little long. The effects were marvelous and yet another film to feature an english older male antagonist. what is with this trend? I don't think it passed the Bechtel test either.
Did I tell you how much i love being with another T girl? because we have the same brain it makes everything much easier plus we always will have each others backs. I'm just blessed to have this woman in my life. I keep thinking about tying the knot with her which is so crazy and exciting at the same time! and what that means for us. I know that she thinks about this as well and it feels like she wants it as much as I do. I need to formulate a plan for romance, as there are a couple great opportunities coming up to ask her, and I want it to be really special. I have been reading other girls stories about that and I have some ideas. I need some bottle rockets
anywho, I went out to dinner with sarah and heidi last night at snappy dragon and it was crazy good hence the title of this post. I love playing with heidi! i carried her around goodwill after dinner and we played and played. Sarah made me a little idol for my desk and gave me a big bag of random legos. I appreciate her beyond words.

Mon, Jul. 24th, 2017, 10:01 am
We went to a tiny festival in the forest and it was good

Lily and I went to Galaxy Far Away Fest this weekend up in Rockport. It was super fun. We took the hippie bus of course and it was very comfortable. We were parked close to the stage. When the main acts weren't playing, we listened to a lot of Chris Schwartzwalder and Acid Pauli (Thank you AMW!) and even Lily and DJ Wigglez commented on how good that was. This led to a little DJ battle between Wigglez and Lily, lol.
We met so many people; Justin, Liz, Clay, Sienna, Nick, Karen to name the ones on my mind at the moment. Hope to see all of them again at some point! We felt like rockstars.
the DJ Faraway stage in the woods was too much. It was so funny to meet that kid looking for his stuff in the ivy on sunday morning. The best DJ was thomas crowne, the most funny band was Star Destroyer and Drunk Solo. The best main stage band was Hard Money Saints. I like the tiny size of the fest, knowing it will just grow each year like Meltdown.
This is the second camping trip with Lily and our third trip together this month! I love being with her all the time, there isn't any feeling that I need time to myself and she feels the same.
I can see where this is going and I like it! I am slowly moving my stuff into her place and it really is feeling like our home more and more. I am a lucky girl

Wed, Jul. 19th, 2017, 01:03 pm
Big journal day, third entry this week! what is up with that?!

Life is GOOD, so generally that means for me that I don't need to write anything in here, you know? I go long stretches without any words. I don't know what is different right now, except that I am happy and feeling in Love, feeling accepted. No complaints, this girl is 'just right' I will likely go on and on about her forever since it seems improbable that we would ever be apart, right? RIGHT? Its been over 2 months now since I have started staying with her, haven't slept in my own bed for that long. I moved my computers and bedding over to her place. It's becoming OUR place now. It's really exciting to build this life with her. I have no worries for the first time in my life. We are equals in almost every way, like twins separated at birth and both trans* I just didn't think I'd ever find her, didn't expect to fall in love with a T girl either.
I mean I tried - see previous entries with Juli or Terra... those relationships were incredibly toxic and taught me about toxicity. I don't have any contact with them anymore - thankful.
It also seems that Lily and I have done things in our lives on the same timeframes. She has dated other T girls and it was awful. She tried dating boys and that was not really for her either.
our surgery dates are close together, divorce dates, birth dates, etc.
anyway, words to tell you that I am deeply in love with a woman named Lily Star.
Tonight I have massage, then afterwards Lily is making shrimp fettucine from scratch and we will watch an old episode of Doctor Who. Love my life

Tue, Jul. 18th, 2017, 11:16 am
Another great day to be alive on this planet

So I'm going to Galaxy Far Away Fest this weekend, with lily, in the bus! I will try to dress up like some character from Star Wars or the like. I have some things.. but what I want to wear is my cape! 'll probably just do it, and it will be fun.
We are getting closer to having the solar panels complete on the bus. Drilled a hole for the wires and got them hooked up to the controller. Tonight we will build the frame and put it on top of the bus and fasten it to the rails. Should be done for this weekend. I think we'll roll up some nice fatties to share with everyone that wants some. speaking of that, we went to a different pot shop last night, 'puff n chill', it was really pretty inside with the wood paneling and the bay windows, and they have a reward program! I got some Artizen sour D, so yummy.
Also I found some new tracks last night, most of them either from Burning Man or Katermukke. SO GOOD! David Hohme and Dirty Doering - love what you do to my groove thang.
Music has wormed its way back into my soul, and I love it! Lily and I have been listening to DJ sets non stop for about 2 weeks so far and probably will forever.
also, Lily and I went to Seattle on Saturday to see DJ EASE ( Nightmares on Wax ) and holy cow was it good, like the theme music from inside of my dreams. Best DJ show I have been to at Nectar. Lily loved it too. We danced for 3 hours straight. I can't wait to do that again.

Fri, Jul. 14th, 2017, 10:17 am
This weekend with Lily

Fri, Jul. 14th, 2017, 09:35 am
WHAT?! A New Post?

Dear Journal, thank you for still being here for me, even after all these years and so much changes. The last time I wrote in here I was espousing about my hawaiian girlfriend, and going to Hawaii... which was very fun actually but so much has happened since then! WHERE DO I START? well lets just throw some stuff out there;
hawaiian girlfriend (Laura) dumped me at BURNING MAN... which was scary and sad and amazing at the same time. BURNING MAN!!!
a few days after I returned I jumped back on the horse and tried dating a few people, one of which lived in Eugene and we ended dating for a few months, almost bought a house together... then disappeared on me. I was so heartbroken but I didn't give up and went on 18 first dates in one year... the girl that triumphed in all that is Sarah and we dated for 8 months, until she dumped me to get back together with her previous trans boyfriend, breaking my heart and will in the process... but Sarah told me that my true love was coming and she wasn't it... I didn't believe her at all, wanted to give up and join the circus, BUT incredibly met the most amazing lady of all (LILY) and we fell in love the first night we met at McMenamins. We have been inseparable ever since - I have been staying with her every night too, waking up to that beauty is the best part of my life so far. Can't wait to see where we go, we are so alike (she is trans as well) and have the same brain, the same music tastes, love to smoke weed, has great taste in cars and clothes, is part hippy, has a camper schoolbus, is sexy as hell and I am just the happiest girl in the world when i am with her. We have been wearing engagement rings for the past month too...
so that is an overview of the past couple YEARS of my life so much has happened but i am the same person.

Mon, Jan. 19th, 2015, 11:45 am
No doubt that miracles happen.

I witnessed a miracle yesterday; Seahawks putting 15 pts up in 44 seconds- Lightning! then to win in OT. I was screaming and crying with mom, it was amazing! I still can't believe it that we are going to the big dance again in February. Cried and cried tears of joy. I am not even the biggest football fan; the seahawks over the past 2 years have become everyone's favorite, girls included. I can't recall ever seeing so many girls at the games or at the bars cheering them on. Its a miracle.
This was such a great weekend! I went to lunch with Rachel on Saturday at the Tasters wok and discovered that she is also trans! i am so surprised that I hadn't figured that out before. I gained a really wonderful friend and support system by meeting her. I am grateful to OK cupid (again) for bringing positive change for my life, in spades. She is so lucky, was able to keep her wife and her wife is training to do electrolysis for her. I had those dreams with Tracy, I will always wish that it had worked out for us.
Anyway, its too late for that, and I have more wonderful friends in my life now that I would not have ever had if I would have stayed with Tracy. I would not have ever met Laura... oh I can hardly wait to see Laura again.
also I am getting my Burning Man tickets in the next month! woot!

Thu, Jan. 15th, 2015, 08:43 am
Houses of the Holy

I can't remember a time before where I was anxiously awaiting the sun rising earlier and summer. This winter hasn't been terrible, I don't understand. At least I have some things in the near future to look forward to; Hawaii for one. Burning Man for another.
Anyway, tonight will be exceptional; I'm going to Ill-Esha with Jeff and Lisa.
we can watch the white doves go...
Hawaii.. oh my, it's going to be such an adventure with Laura. I can only imagine what her place is like. What I'm most excited with is exploring the island with her, although she is likely familiar with most of it. Maybe I can find something that is new to her? it is only 36 days away.
It's another day at work, almost to 25 years.

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