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Thu, Nov. 16th, 2017, 11:34 am
whats the haps this week? a burn and maybe a proposal!

The week before Thanksgiving, and I am missing the sunshine and warmth. Oh dear Journal, when will it be warm again? Its been 3 weeks now since California and my bones oh my bones!
So I burned the back of my left hand really bad, I mean real bad like third degree bad on making coffee at 5am with my aeropress. Oh fuck did that hurt! i had to keep it wrapped for a week and still hoping it doesn't scar too bad. Still red af, and sore. That has been my last week.
Sopan, who isn't even in my group anymore, is still messing up his engrg and it drives me crazy... trying to be calm.
Lily has been amazing, and I love her more and more everyday. I think Im gonna propose to her this weekend even tho i dont have a big old diamond, ill just give her ring back to her again LOL! we have been thick as thieves for 6 months straight. Every day we have been together without fail or fight. I love my life with her, she is just my exact other half. I look forward to seeing her and I race home each day to be with her. true love, eh? YES.
so many stupid signoffs today ie Sopan... ugh!
I escaped for a few minutes to get new tabs for the VW and some petrol- back to work, found a nice spot downstairs. Noticed that the sheriff was out in full motorcycle force around the plant giving out tickets - must be careful when i leave later. Oh that's right, its the middle of the month! so damn predictable those coppers are, lol!

Wed, Oct. 18th, 2017, 07:14 am
the calm before the storm

The calm before the storm. what storm? harvey? maybe there are many storms brewing. Today we have a rain storm that stretches across the pacific, from china to the PNW. I'ts gonna rain forever it seems but is actually clear and sunny at the moment. I'm at work, and listening to Treavor Moontribe Kalliope 2017 set - it is good, mostly tech house. It's been a long day so far, just trying to get some sign-offs done so I can get out of here soon. Lily and I are looking for a house, and will be going to get a loan approved next week. Then we are going to take the bus on a long drive to the Oregon coast and some of California, as in the Eureka area. We were planning to drive further south but the wildfires are destroying all the forest around Sonoma and Santa Rosa, it's incredibly sad. 

Wed, Sep. 27th, 2017, 08:07 am

here is some updates! Lily and I went to Maui for a week, and it was fantastic, amazing, beautiful, fun, superb! we decided that it would be a good place to live. We met some wonderful people there, the neighbors by our rental house. Coy and Lana. And Lanas brother Ross. He is quite the character. I'll always remember how much fun that was to stay near baby beach. 

Anyway, I have so many stories about hawaii and all of them are good. We even managed to squirrel away some herbs for the trip (and a vape cartridge) and that lasted almost the entire week. We had to go searching on the last weekend, which was really no problem it is super easy to find, and incredibly good. Ross was able to find some holy grail kush for us. It was a laugh to see everyone with plastic baggies for their stash LOL so old school.

The weekend before Maui was Lily Birthday and it was pretty mellow... people that showed up; Mike, Hollie and stafford, Erin Lilys sister and even Michelle. No sign of jeff nor hank nor jesse. I can see why Sarah wouldn't come but it was lame of them others to be so selfish or jealous.... BUT we still made the best time of it. Lily got to play a full set, and I got to play a couple hours on sunday for my first time and i didn't make a mess of it! I even played a couple tracks on top of each other, the township rebellion stuff. Loved it.

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Thu, Sep. 7th, 2017, 09:52 am
tech house forever

Township Rebellion. That is all.

Tue, Aug. 22nd, 2017, 06:54 am

this weekend was chillout campout and the eclipse. Lily and I took the bus on Friday and parked it under a huge tree in the outer lot, it was nice because fairly quiet there but not enough solar for the panels. It was a small turnout this year due to the eclipse in Oregon and hempfest in Seattle. Mike and Hollie set up the main speakers and Hollie spun for a bit, then Lily got on the decks and played for about 2 hours. It was so great because we danced the whole time and I got to wear my fuzzy pink burning man fur coat. 

On Saturday, everyone went floating in the river and Lily and I had the best floaties; The Millenium Falcon and a huge Rainbow Unicorn. Neither of these worked very well in the water however so sooner than later Lily was back on the decks for about 3  half hours of house music on the beach. Glorious I tell you what to help this girl play tracks and I am still learning from her. 

Jeff anf Lisa were also at Campout and that was interesting the same as always really except Jeff made himself have a good time with a new friend.

I made some great friends that weekend too; Jessie and Hank. Will see them soon at Lilys Birthday party.

Wed, Aug. 9th, 2017, 07:06 am

It's Wednesday, and here I am at work yet again. The A/C just kicked on, and it's loud now for some reason. Another hot day in the PNW! It has been incredibly smoky here this past week, "the summer 2017 smoke event" due to massive fires in British Columbia. I have not ever seen smoke like this here, it's eerie the sunsets remind me of my youth on Tatooine.
Because it was going to be in the 100's last weekend we changed our camping plans from the mountains to Anacortes. It was such a good idea too because when we showed up in downtown A, there was the all weekend art festival just starting up! we found a parking spot right at the edge of town at the shipyard (basically parked the bus under a huge tugboat in dry dock getting new propellers, on a closed street) and near a line of portos too, so perfect.
Lily hadn't really been to A yet, so it was a treat showing her around this quaint little town. I love it. She fell in love with it too and now also wants to live there. We had so much fun, just cruising the art and looking for places to smoke out. Getting lattes from the Gypsy coffee cart 3x was alright too. We spent all the money we would have spent on camping fees on new dresses and bags. So Much Fun. And perfect weather despite the smoke.
The bus is working perfectly now, with the new solar panels we were able to listen to the stereo 24 hours a day and I brought a ton of DJ sets this time. We really like the Mira new years eve 4hour set the most. I need to find a way to organize them so that the info displays on the stereo properly and I don't have to rely on my brain and ear to remember which is which with so many damn sets now on that stick.
It was funny being parked there... people would walk up to the bus but not look at it, they would only be interested in the huge tug boat. It was like we were invisible and different then everywhere else we have been where the hippie bus is such an attraction.
It's been a good week. Lily and I have been seeing each other for 3 months now, no signs of stopping anytime soon. Waking up next to her each day has been the best thing ever. We are living together and sometimes I have to pinch myself 'Is this real'? and I know it is. After all that I have been through, finally knowing I have found my person is such a weight off my soul.

Tue, Aug. 1st, 2017, 09:29 am
as I sit here at work with my salted caramel yogurt

I dream about yesterday, and the juxtaposition it created in my life. After work, I high-tailed it to my new home, and then Lily, ma'am and I piled into the bus to go to Richmond beach. Once there, we met up with Sarah, Heidi, Haileigh and Ada who had been out in the sun for hours. It was weird to have Sarah and Lily in the same space, but as you know Lily is so gracious and kind, was warm loving and welcoming to everyone. It just amazes me, how far I have come since the days of Juli and even Kris, how I was willing to settle with someone who clearly wasn't good for me and the times of upheaval, the times of feeling hopeless and alone compared to now; being with someone who is obviously my most perfect partner and best friend. I always believed that she existed, I just didn't think I'd ever find her. We are both extremely lucky in this world. I don't like leaving her in the morning when i go to work and I count the hours until i can see her again.
So this weekend we are going camping to leavenworth, and it will be fun we get to try out some new lights and speakers and we are going to attempt to DJ a set on the bus somehow. I think we will just bring the entire traktor set up. Our goal is to be able to do that by Aug 18th for chillout campout up in the mountains with her DJ crew, 'Covert Ops' which I am really looking forward to because I get to see and meet more of her amazing friends - which is just what I need in my life.

Fri, Jul. 28th, 2017, 08:48 am
I had chinese food twice this week and Im in love

So glad that it is Friday! This weekend will be mellow. We are working on the solar panels for the bus tonight; tomorrow we'll go to ambient sounds at gas works park after a relaxing day of washing the cars and sleeping in :) also Sizzle Pie late Saturday since we haven't been to the one in Seattle yet and I love their pizza. SO GOOD.
What else happened this week? We went to see Valerian, and it was spectacular albeit a little long. The effects were marvelous and yet another film to feature an english older male antagonist. what is with this trend? I don't think it passed the Bechtel test either.
Did I tell you how much i love being with another T girl? because we have the same brain it makes everything much easier plus we always will have each others backs. I'm just blessed to have this woman in my life. I keep thinking about tying the knot with her which is so crazy and exciting at the same time! and what that means for us. I know that she thinks about this as well and it feels like she wants it as much as I do. I need to formulate a plan for romance, as there are a couple great opportunities coming up to ask her, and I want it to be really special. I have been reading other girls stories about that and I have some ideas. I need some bottle rockets
anywho, I went out to dinner with sarah and heidi last night at snappy dragon and it was crazy good hence the title of this post. I love playing with heidi! i carried her around goodwill after dinner and we played and played. Sarah made me a little idol for my desk and gave me a big bag of random legos. I appreciate her beyond words.

Mon, Jul. 24th, 2017, 10:01 am
We went to a tiny festival in the forest and it was good

Lily and I went to Galaxy Far Away Fest this weekend up in Rockport. It was super fun. We took the hippie bus of course and it was very comfortable. We were parked close to the stage. When the main acts weren't playing, we listened to a lot of Chris Schwartzwalder and Acid Pauli (Thank you AMW!) and even Lily and DJ Wigglez commented on how good that was. This led to a little DJ battle between Wigglez and Lily, lol.
We met so many people; Justin, Liz, Clay, Sienna, Nick, Karen to name the ones on my mind at the moment. Hope to see all of them again at some point! We felt like rockstars.
the DJ Faraway stage in the woods was too much. It was so funny to meet that kid looking for his stuff in the ivy on sunday morning. The best DJ was thomas crowne, the most funny band was Star Destroyer and Drunk Solo. The best main stage band was Hard Money Saints. I like the tiny size of the fest, knowing it will just grow each year like Meltdown.
This is the second camping trip with Lily and our third trip together this month! I love being with her all the time, there isn't any feeling that I need time to myself and she feels the same.
I can see where this is going and I like it! I am slowly moving my stuff into her place and it really is feeling like our home more and more. I am a lucky girl

Wed, Jul. 19th, 2017, 01:03 pm
Big journal day, third entry this week! what is up with that?!

Life is GOOD, so generally that means for me that I don't need to write anything in here, you know? I go long stretches without any words. I don't know what is different right now, except that I am happy and feeling in Love, feeling accepted. No complaints, this girl is 'just right' I will likely go on and on about her forever since it seems improbable that we would ever be apart, right? RIGHT? Its been over 2 months now since I have started staying with her, haven't slept in my own bed for that long. I moved my computers and bedding over to her place. It's becoming OUR place now. It's really exciting to build this life with her. I have no worries for the first time in my life. We are equals in almost every way, like twins separated at birth and both trans* I just didn't think I'd ever find her, didn't expect to fall in love with a T girl either.
I mean I tried - see previous entries with Juli or Terra... those relationships were incredibly toxic and taught me about toxicity. I don't have any contact with them anymore - thankful.
It also seems that Lily and I have done things in our lives on the same timeframes. She has dated other T girls and it was awful. She tried dating boys and that was not really for her either.
our surgery dates are close together, divorce dates, birth dates, etc.
anyway, words to tell you that I am deeply in love with a woman named Lily Star.
Tonight I have massage, then afterwards Lily is making shrimp fettucine from scratch and we will watch an old episode of Doctor Who. Love my life

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